This memorial website was created to remember our dearest Ryan Raad Binno.

ONE YEAR LATER…….

Some say that with time things will get better. Others tell us to be happy for “He is in a better place.” There are those who say nothing because they do not have the right words to say. And there are those who say we have no faith; others say we have lost our faith; but we say… Faith is what keeps us going. Faith is what brings our heads off our pillows still soaked in tears from the night before each morning and what allows us to walk around with a fake smile so people do not know the truth of how broken we are. Faith is why we continue; it is what keeps us alive.

2007…what a year. From the immediate withdrawal of US Troops in Iraq; from the beginning of the 2008 country recession…2007 was a hard year and yet the world kept spinning. And even closer to home, within our own Church community events shook people into an alarming reality…Death! Deaths of family members and friends; old and young; sick and healthy; poor and rich. Learning that no matter how much money or knowledge you have, no matter of your age of health NOTHING will interrupt the plan of God. Hearing how people had to burry their grandparents, friends, parents, and worse of all…their own children. Families left broken with nowhere to turn except to God. 2007 is a year that many will not forget. But although there were many events that will be remembered by the world forever, there was another event, one that not the entire world knows of...an event that we will never forget nor will anyone in our family. Just the thought of the year brings shivers to are body and tears to are eyes, are heart begins to beat rapidly and are body becomes numb… 2007 is the year we lost the core of our family; the center; the heart… 2007 is the year Ryan Binno lost his life and we, his family, learned the true meaning of death.

2007 is the year in which we came to question ourselves and wonder if we are the cause that God chose to take away such a loved brother and son; one whom was cherished and respected. Not many people realize just how hard it is to lose a sibling or child. No one who has not experienced it can understand or feel how it changes and affects your life.

One year later on the anniversary of Ryan’s tragic accident, a year after that devastating event and still we don’t feel that we are getting any stronger, yet we know, on an emotional level, that what happened nearly killed our family. Feeling the guilt and anger of as though we could have, would have, should have done something, combined with the dreaded awareness that others we love could leave this earth just as quickly, was enough to make us want to shut down for good. The odd thing is that we all had to get up the next morning and actually live our lives even though we felt our souls have died and our hearts had stopped beating. “A tragedy will make you stronger” they said. And even today we want to question them, to tell them how it feels to be a part of our family at this point; I want to know “How? How is it now that we are supposed to be stronger?

The days that have followed the loss of our dear Ryan have been unbearable. Our family was torn apart and none of us would ever be the same, especially our Father and Mother. Our mother started to tell us gradually how she felt, she said that “when you have children one day you will feel your children’s every hurt, sorrow and pain”, “My purpose of a mother is to immediately know what my children need and live everyday and to protect them” “I never thought a day would come where I would want to hide away from people and not know how to face them. I feel like I am living everyday with cancer in every part of my body. Our father says “I feel like a dead body walking everyday” “the worst thing in the world is having to burry your own child”. It is the most terrible kind of grief especially knowing even time can’t make it any better. Raising a child from birth, watching him as he takes his first steps and losing his first tooth, all the way to watching him walk across stage for high school graduation…then with in a snap of two fingers he is gone from our lives and there is nothing you can say or do to bring him back.”

            Not a single hour passes that we do not pray, that we do not ask that the great Lord keeps our Faith strong and alive. Although we constantly question why this would happen to such a good Catholic family; why the Lord would take away the most important thing we had; why it couldn’t be another day; why we couldn’t stop it; why; we know that Faith is the only hope we have of seeing Ryan again. Faith is the only thing that reminds us that he is alive and watching over us. Faith is the reason we continue to live our lives. Faith is the reason we live our lives better; so that one day the Lord and Ryan open the gates to the place we long to reach…Heaven.

We will mourn for the things that we'll never see with him, the fun and celebrations we'll never share and those special moments in our lives when he won’t be there. We will continue to remember the past, live in the present, and await the future. There is a constant feeling of something missing but you don’t know what it is. For the rest of our lives we will all live with a huge whole in our heart that will never be filled again.

To those who have lost loved ones you know how it feels and to those who haven’t we ask of you to cherish your loved ones, live every moment as if it will be your last, keep your Faith and pray for others. Life on Earth is short but life after Earth is eternity…    

                  July 8, 2008 

The Binno Family

A memorial fund in tribute to Ryan Binno, to help raise money for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. http://www.stjudeheroes.org/goto/ryanbinno

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"Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow."

Little I knew that morning, God was going to call your name, in life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone, for part of us went with you, the day god called you home. You left us beautiful memories. Your love is still our guide, and though we cannot see you, you are always by our side. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again. 

 A Mother's Grief

You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go

How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see

You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.

Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.

Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.

Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?

No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?

I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.

How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?

Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their childs casket,
watched it perched above a grave?

You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.

If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.

Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."

Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.

By-Kelly Cummings

Tomorrow Is Not Promised

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose; teach you a lesson, or help figure out who you are, and who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be: your neighbor, child, long lost friend, or even a stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life, in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you, and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize, that without overcoming those obstacles, you would have never realized your potential strength, or your hearts desire.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, as well as experiencing sheer stupidity; all occur to test the limits of your soul.
Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a paved straight flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the successes and downfalls you experience, create who you are, and even the bad experiences can be learned from; in fact, they are probably the poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them; for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart...
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love, and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment, and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again...
Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high...
Hold your head up, because you have every right too. Tell yourself you're a great person and believe in yourself... for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

Create your own life and then go out and live in it! "Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last... Tomorrow is Not Promised."

Words cannot adequately express our sincere thankfulness and appreciation for the kind expression on the death of our beloved brother Ryan Binno. Thank you for sharing in our sorrow, your comforting expression of sympathy, kindness, prayers, and thoughtfulness are more deeply appreciated than words can express. Please be assured that you will always be remembered in our thoughts and prayers. God bless you all.

The Binno Family